Although It’s Possible Neve Campbell Is Still Alive
Preppy teen boy #1: No, dude. She was in love with horses, remember? She liked screwing them — that’s how she died.Preppy teen boy #2: No, no. That is not true. It was some accident having to do with...
View ArticleThe Astoria Poster-Children Were Fired Shortly Thereafter
Young punk #1: Where's the fucking n train? Can we get NRW in this shit… (pause) So my friend was all coked out and fucking this girl in the ass, then he totally lost it and started pissing right in...
View ArticleWe Checked, It’s Real. Ick.
Brunette using computer: Have you ever posed naked?Blonde: Yeah, my ex-boyfriend posted a video of me on the net.Brunette: Really? What’s the URL?Blonde: Animal boinks dot com*.Brunette, finding site:...
View Article…Perhaps You'd Enjoy It Poured Over Your Head?
Husband in theater: Water? I never touch the stuff. Fish fuck in it.Wife, looking around, embarrassed: Go on, honey. Have another beer. –Shakespeare in the Park, Delacourte Theatre Overheard by:...
View ArticleIs It Sick That I Wednesday on Their One-Liners?
Guy on phone: It's probably something beyond the bestiality in why you didn't get hired. –4th & Lafayette Overheard by: andy Disembodied voice in crowd: Necrophilia, really? –Times Square Man: The...
View ArticleI’ve Always Dreamed of Birthing a Kennedy
Hipster girl: [Inaudible]… Sex with animals.Hipster guy: You have sex with animals?Hipster girl: I said I wish I had sex with animals.Hipster guy: Oh, yeah. –South St Seaport
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Are So Fucking Glad It’s Over
Conductor: This is Prince Street. Not Half-blood Prince Street, but Prince Street. –N train Overheard by: she later invited the passengers to debate whether snape was a criminal or a hero 30-year old...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Get Some Pussy
Hipster chick with “valley girl” accent: Ya, like, ohmigod, ewwwwww… So I was reading Cosmo, and like, there was this story, about like, guys’ confessions, you know? And like, this random guy actually...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Will See You at the Ren Fair
Woman: She had sex with a dragon. She had sex with a dragon! I keep seeing her and wantin’ to ask, “Yo, how’s the dragon?” –Ollie’s, 69th & Broadway Overheard by: Nick Draven Virgin-For-Life on...
View ArticleBut at Last He’s Got the Motivation to Earn It
Guy with cat fetish: The only way I’d have sex with a dog is if Donald Trump gave me 62 billion dollars. Guy with Donald Trump fetish: Donald Trump doesn’t have that much money! –Classroom, Barnard...
View Article